Why be vulnerable?
Vulnerability opens us up and gives us clarity, to be truly able to know ourselves we have to expose our flanks, drop our shields and illusions. When we are able to do that we have the opportunity to change who we are, what we experience and how we think about the world, and when our thoughts change, the world actually changes as well. That is the law of attraction, it is the idea that our thoughts produce our vibration and we attract events to us that have the same vibrations. When we think and act as if the world is a good place, we will experience it as such and we will attract good life experiences into our lives. This holds true in equal measure for people who believe the world is a bad place, they attract bad experiences, which is an idea that many people find uncomfortable, including myself, as if you then extend this logic, people are responsible for their bad experiences and invite them in, which feels like we are victim blaming, the law is saying that people are solely responsible for what their thoughts are and that creates their vibration which attracts evil into their lives.
Which feels like a harsh statement, especially when we are thinking about children who have been abused, the idea of, “soul contracts,” that is prearranged agreements that we make before our lives begin where we select the human experiences we are going to have,and we do so in the state of oneness and as spiritual beings before starting our lives, seems to me like making excuses or a clever legal sidestepping for why we encounter evil and for it existing at all. It is hard to think of spiritual beings as being blind to the suffering that is caused by their apparent reckless, indifference and “it is all just a fun fair ride,” attitude to our human experience, so there must be a deeper reason for their actions.
The idea that we have a prearranged agreement to be abused feels like we are making the victim responsible for what happens to them and excusing someone’s evil actions as predetermined and inevitable. This I think is incorrect, an evil action is always choice, a very poor choice and no matter what someone's life situation was beforehand, no matter how inevitable those circumstances make their actions seem, it is never the only choice (and reassuringly most people who have evil done to them do not pay it forward and simply repeat what was done to them, they learn from the experience and do better). Everyone no matter their previous behaviour, always have the opportunity to be merciful, to choose a better path and become a better person. When someone who is capable of such poor action and even when they have already done great evil, I am sure that the angels are joyful when they finally make the choice to be a better version of themselves, that is growth and all growth is celebrated. Though the idea that there are volunteers whose only purpose is to give them that opportunity, to be a cast member in someone else's life story and to suffer because of a pre-existing agreement is to my mind wrong, it feels inconsistent with loving source. I prefer to think that they are on their own journey, they are the star of their own show, that happens to intersect with someone on a different and worse path, and that their story, the one that they have chosen is the brave path of being vulnerable, the story of the hero.
Vulnerability has traditionally been defined as being exposed to the possibility of being harmed either physically or emotionally, whereas I prefer the idea that it is an act of strength and courage, you are sacrificing safety for the chance to be better, to have joyful experiences and fulfil your potential. It is the act of opening your heart, taking on the risk of being hurt so that you can increase the potential depth of your experience of love, you can not love without the risk of rejection, you cannot grow as a conscious being by being isolated and independent. It is only possible when you are unafraid to be yourself and you act in alignment with your true manifestation, so that you are able to face your discomfort (and relationships are full of discomfort), the closer you are to yourself, the more vulnerable you become and the easier it is to be hurt. When you fly to the other side of the world, you do not do so to become a victim of an aeroplane crash, you fly for the purpose of experiencing the unknown to go to a place you feel uncomfortable with or least you leave the comfortable familiar place that you call home, but there is risk in anything you do. Just because something is uncomfortable it is not a reason to avoid it, and in the same way vulnerability is uncomfortable but should not be avoided at all costs.
I can totally understand why people choose a life of vulnerability in a way that I cannot envisage someone choosing to be a victim. Indeed every life has periods of vulnerability, a child cannot protect themselves and anyone who has a long life will at some stage become vulnerable again, at the mercy of those who are around them. The illusion is that we are not vulnerable in between, and that it is even a good idea not to be, ever being vulnerable is not an excuse for others to act poorly, it is not an abdication of responsibility for their actions, it is instead an opportunity for them to act with grace, ease and joy, to act in a better way in this lifetime. It is an opportunity that vulnerable people give us, I was told as a child, “that it was my duty to protect those who are weaker than me and stand up to those who are strong than me,” and I have always been grateful for that lesson and guide for my action, it is an ego voice that I welcome having in my life. When people choose to ignore this opportunity, that is them using their free will to make a poor choice both for them and others, they are not fulfilling a prearranged agreement, they are not claiming their rights under a, “soul contract”, our lives are not predetermined in that way, every action we take is of our own free will, and we have to live with the consequences of our actions.
The bravery of being vulnerable has astonishing rewards, you have the potential to be loved unconditionally, to be the true version of yourself and achieve higher states of consciousness than you were born with, that is the reward for exposing yourself to risk. And even when that risk comes with a price, such experiences can become meaningful, they can teach us lessons that change our lives for the better, and people who have had them can become the greatest teachers. If you want to lose weight find person who has already taken the journey of losing weight not someone who has always been healthy and happy. The best person to treat anxiety is someone who has been anxious, the best doctors have been patients, we should look to those who have an experience to be our teachers.
And it is worth remembering that we do not condemn the skydiver for the parachute not opening, or the opera singer who damages their vocal chords, those people who have adventures, who dare and risk everything, we admire them and do not pity them, we certainly do not treat them like victims. We treat them as heroes who are willing to sacrifice everything for the good of others, we focus on their bravery, we even give them medals and the bravest soldier is not the one who killed but the one who is prepared to die defending others, and the bravest person of them all is the child who stands up and says this is wrong, even in the face of an act of unbelievable evil. I refuse to think of them as victims, I love them for their vulnerability, they are the bravest heroes, survivors and teachers that I know.